When we get out of a Cleopatra shower we smell orgasmic, like one of those Herbal Essences commercials. Unfortunately being human, and having some “not so orgasmic” odors is completely natural. We don’t only produce it we also get it from external sources- Stay in a Burger King for an hour or two and you’ll end up smelling like onions.-
A while ago I came across a study suggesting that smelling panties enhances the masturbation experience and that the thrill of being caught made wonders to the “sniffer’s” libido. The curious George in me, wanted to find out something for myself. If you leave your dirty panties at the sight of a guy that’s attracted to you, will he take a whiff, sniff them or simply do nothing?
I was dating a much older man “not so long ago.” (O.K. O.K. a while ago). I was only 19 years old, he was 32. I was used to dating boys, who only wanted to nail me. Going out with an older man opened up my eyes to new possibilities, new experiences, and the hopeful romantic in me, wanted to find her PC… *(Prince Charming)*
Although as young as I was ***Um… Am***, having a not so faithful male figure in the house, taught me we girls have to be cautious about the commonality of liars.
Somehow I thought he would be different, he never gave any signs that would indicate he was lying or seeing someone else. He accepted my calls at anytime, whenever I wanted to see him he would drive by, we went out in public all the time. So I thought it was going to work.
But of course SINCE IT’S ME, nothing ever goes according to plan. My sister found out I was going out with an older man. I would be worried too if I had a little sister whose date was older than me. I understood where she was coming from. Her protective instincts came through and inquisitively she found out who I was dating.
Immediately she came as the bearer of bad news.
“You have to stop seeing him. He’s engaged to my friend Melinda.” She demanded and dropped that bomb at me like if I was an adult at 19.
I wasn’t happy about being lied to. I wanted him to die. I wanted him to repent of lying to my face. Should I get even? No, that’s too childish.
I wanted him to admit the truth AND get even.
So I took an identical pair of panties I had never used, one was too small, the other fit perfectly **back then :’(** I dipped the small one on the area were the natural secretion of the female body was supposed to be, in tuna water. Yes I said tuna water. I placed it in a plastic Ziploc bag, and hid it in the purse I took for our last date. On purpose I wore the identical sexy transparent black panties with a black short skirt and started fooling around in his car. I took my panties off and put them on the rear-view mirror, hanging like a Hawaiian lei.
“What are you doing?” He asked smiling and amused of course.
“Nothing. I just want to know if you’ll smell them when we part tonight.” I replied, and started telling him about the sniffing effects I had discovered while reading a study. I could see he was already excited for the night to end so he could screw me and smell my undies. Not necessarily in that order.
The gas tank was full, but I knew he would stop at a gas station to buy some condoms, or water, or something.
I took out my Ziploc bag and switched the panties on his rear-view mirror. It didn’t smell bad at first.
We went on our date and I acted like I knew nothing. I ordered the most expensive plate, and the most expensive wine, on purpose. We went back to the car, he opened the door for me. The smell was a little overpowering but we both ignored it as soon as the cold A/C flowed. “Where to now? Hotel?” He dared to ask.
“Can we go to Melinda’s house?” His eyes were bigger than the full moon. “You know, your fiance?” I kept demanding. He used the same old story A-holes use. We’re not together anymore, we’re having problems, we’re not getting married, we this, we that, blah blah blah…
I told him to take me home, and he did. When I got out of the car, before closing the door. I told him to keep my panties as a token. Guess what he did??? LOL!
He took them out the rear-view mirror while saying he would never forget me, and he took a big whiff that made him cough his lungs out. I was dying of laughter and he threw my panties at me. “Fuck you.” Were his last words to me. I should have been mad. But I wasn’t. I was still laughing my ass off. What an idiot! He was playing a joke on me, but when he got a real joke in return, acted like any other immature creeper boy I had went out with.
I can guarantee he won’t ever forget me or smell anyone’s panties ever again.